I went back to work today, oh was it fun. I usually dread our staff development days only because in the past they would make us do these silly team building activities, but today no games - I actually felt like the day was productive! Amazing. I was also floored that there were no pregnancy announcements - not yet anyway. I'm also surprised that I didn't get upset at hearing about all the new babies (6 one just announced today!)
The weird thing is that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I had planned on returning to school pregnant, and now that it didn't happen I guess I felt like I had nothing to talk about. Writing that down, wow, how warped does that sound? The whole day, I just couldn't get it out of my head what could've been.
The weird thing is that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I had planned on returning to school pregnant, and now that it didn't happen I guess I felt like I had nothing to talk about. Writing that down, wow, how warped does that sound? The whole day, I just couldn't get it out of my head what could've been.
Just writing this down is making me see how self absorbed I am about my IF, I really need to, well, not let it go because it's a part of me, but to kind of compartmentalize my thoughts. Infertility is a part of my life and it can't be ignored, but I also won't let it turn me into a depressed anti-social bore. I think I can be conversational and have a genuine smile when I'm with my colleagues; I can leave the ivf at the door. If I let this ivf cycle get me down, then that negativity is going to play against me - it will be hard to juggle work stress & ivf, but countless women have done it (I've read their blogs) and succeeded. I can be next!
2 comments:
good for you. it is hard to let that go, I am still trying. yay for getting started, too!
Yep, there is Petey-fur all over this place! I haven't decided what to do yet, but I will let you know. How is your pill popping going?
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