I'm excited, nervous, and so anxious about this upcoming cycle. I'm painfully pessimistic, I keep thinking about all the stats about ivf and it makes me go crazy. Yet I am also dreamily optimistic all at the same time - actually I also like to dream that we'll have a 'free' baby, that's what we call getting pregnant w/o ivf :-). As my start date gets closer I think I get a little more anxious each day - probably not the best attitude when I should be keeping my stress level down.
So, I need to think of ways to keep my stress level down. Hmmmm. And, since I go back to work next week I will need ways to combat the "What did you do over the summer?" question. I had planned on getting ready for my first child, now that didn't work and my summer was a wash. And face the several women who are probably now expecting. In case I didn't mention it before, I'm a teacher at a school with a young staff -lots of weddings and lots of babies. Ok, so that is where my thought process will be for the next seven days. So far this is what I have:
Ways to keep a good attitude:
Gardening (if the pumpkins can do it, so can we!)
Catching up on some professional reading - I can focus on work instead
Continue blogging - so much easier than a therapist
Ways to combat the "What did you do?" question:
"Nothing, what did you do?" - just kidding
"Went through an ivf cycle that failed and am now taking steroids that are putting hair on my face" - probably not
"Gardening, some travel, lots of reading" - the truth and not very exciting, but I guess it'll have to do.
Facing the expectant moms:
Cry - no good
Avoid - better, but can only do for so long
Fake smile - nice, but again can only do for so long before muscles start to ache
Short and sweet "congratulations" then lame excuse to leave - OK! that works for me and maybe include fake smile.
The Birth of a Mother
3 years ago
5 comments:
When I went back to school last summer, I had to answer the "what did you do" question and my answer was "spent the entire summer trying to get pregnant." Then I suggested that all of my fellow teachers should try it...that kind of got a laugh, but god...I could have cleared the room with my answer! As for the pregos...just avoid until you're on your own terms.
I have the same dilemma as you when asked, "What did you do this summer?" Since all I've done is prepare for IVF and do my cycle, I didn't do much else. I haven't told anyone I work with about that, so it's very hard to come up with an answer to that question. I like your suggestion, though: "Gardening, some travel, and lots of reading." That's a perfect answer and one that should suffice. THEN, immediately say, "And what did YOU do???"
I like your list of possible answers. I think your first answer for each is how I could answer, but will also be going with the bottom ones.
Hey, we have a pumpkin that looks like the one in your pic!
The nice thing about the boring answers is that they're boring, and usually facilitate an easy topic change. You can go on and on about your travel, even if it was only for a small part of the vacation. I know it feels yucky to be "fake" all the time, but the alternative (for me) is bursting into tears if I tell the truth, and who wants to do that with anyone other than your best friends?
It's always awkward trying to answer those questions, be honest, avoid or make a joke. As for the preggos-well, that's a tough one...I tend to overlook the obvious and never address that they are pregnant. Just talk to them like you would anyone else. Kinda takes them off guard because they are expecting you to be all ...oooh and ahhhish, asking about the pregnancy.
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