Growing Pumpkins

It seems that everything I see has a connection to our recently failed IVF cycle. For example, and the reason for the name of this blog, is our pumpkin plant. I watched this plant grow and produce a multitude of flowers and buds along with my first IVF cycle (I had 23 eggs retrieved, 18 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 transferred, 1 frozen). I kept watch during my TWW as, right around the time of my transfer, one of the many flowers produced a cute little green pumpkin bud. Well, I kept an eye on that one and watched it develop and grow - even after my BFN on June 24th.

I'm not sure why this plant gives me the hope I need. Is it as easy as realizing that one bud actually survived and will develop into a viable pumpkin. One out of the dozens of cute little green buds that after a day or two usually turn yellow, wither and fall to the ground? Maybe. It hit me hard that so many of the pumpkin's attempts fail...just like my "buds" did. But, then I see the one that did make it. The one that made it is now an orange soccer-ball size of hope.



So, where am I now? Fertilizing. No, not the pumpkin, me. For two months I will take 75mg a day of DHEA in hopes of improving egg quality which in turn may help everything else. We'll see. At 36 I guess I shouldn't really be all that surprised that egg quality is an issue.

DHEA, is it false hope or will it really help my flowers and buds?