Monday, January 26, 2009

Thank you so much for all your kind words, there are so many crying signs on this ivf journey, it's comforting words that can make all the difference.  

So, I changed my mind, I don't think I want to replay my last FET cycle.  I know that it's pretty scary to get wisdom from a TV show, but I was watching this show called John Doe.  It's about a guy who wakes up with no memory of who he is but knows EVERYTHING in the world.  I know, kooky premise, but what can you do when you want to be a couch potato.  So, anyway, one of the characters is telling this John Doe that he needs to make new memories and not lose himself trying to recapture the past.  She plays some kind of brain doc and she said that the patients she sees that recover the best are always those that "stop looking in the rearview mirror and focus on what lies ahead."   

I will never forget, and I don't want to, but I think I'm going to look to what will be next.  So, what's next?  Two things.  One I am waiting for AF (we are always waiting for something right). Two, I'm working on being social again, without the tears or moodiness.   Not doing the best job on that as last week I cried at my SIL's and last night I bailed on going to the movies with a friend.  Well, my dh wasn't too keen on going either so I had an easy out.  

To borrow from Evergreen:
What am I grateful for?
-Hulu (unlimited shows - we don't have cable)
-my job
-my purring cat on my lap

How will I take care of myself?
-going to the gym after this post
-trying to eat healthy - no more skipping lunch
-watch less Hulu :-)

5 comments:

Evergreen said...

Pumpkin, you need to do what makes you feel best, and if that is not recounting, then follow that. Looking ahead is so important - it is what gives us the hope and strength to move forward. Who'd'a thunk you'd get good advice from tv?

Chelle said...

I take advice from TV all the time...Especially Friends! haha.

I am glad your looking forward. There will be good days to blog and there will be not so good days to blog. I'll be here for both!

((HUGS))

Mo said...

I like this:

What am I grateful for and how will i take care of myself? Very wise. I think I will adopt these as my new mantra for the next while.

Hang in there. i am so sorry for your recent losses.

Mo

JenniferSaake.blogspot.com said...

Stumbled across your blog today when looking at various infertility resources.

I'm sorry this is such a painful journey. :(
{{{hugs}}}

Jenni Saake (InfertilityMom)
http://www.HannahsHopeBook.com

Joy said...

It is amazing where we may find that piece of wisdom that keeps us going. I like to think that it is not by accident. Take care of yourself and keep looking forward.