I just need to make it through the w.e. This week, although off of work, was full of distractions because of Thanksgiving. Now that's over and my beta looming over me come Monday, I'm a jumble of nerves right now. I haven't been sleeping and I've found myself on more than one occasion wandering the house - and that's just this morning since I've been awake.
I have decided not to poas. I just know how depressed I will be for the next two days if it is not a "+". I won't want to take my meds and will be miserable around my dh (who by the way does not recommend my poas - I think because he knows me so well). So, I believe it is this decision that is the reason for my anxiety. I'm pretty sure I can wait, I just need to make sure that I keep myself busy. Not too difficult during the day, but at 3am, with it so quiet, it's my thoughts that seem to overwhelm me. I've logged quite a few early morning hours on Hulu, a video streaming site, watching old episodes of SNL and a David Duchovny romantic movie (strange, I know) called Return to Me. Lucky for me only two more sleepless nights.
I do the best I can...
2 months ago