Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What's Next?

I want to say thank you for all your comments.  I've stopped telling my friends about my cycles.  Some people I've not mentioned anything at all, others I only tell them I'm cycling but not any details - I guess I've realized they don't really understand.  Blogging is really the only way I can really express how I'm feeling.  So, thank you for being there.

The last two days were pretty rough, but I seem to be coming out of it.  A lot quicker than I did my last failed cycles.  For me this is a very frustrating time, in between cycles.  Part of me wants to crawl in bed and pull the sheets up over my head, cry and wish I was pregnant.  The more rational part of me knows I should get out and go for a walk/run, get some good veggies from the farmer's market, and go to a poker game with friends this w.e.  Right now I'm not sure if I'm ready to fully embrace rational me, especially being social, going back to bed sounds like a pretty good idea right now.

What's next?  Well, as I mentioned before I'm in a holding pattern before the FET.  I should be getting AF in the next couple of days, but can't start meds for a FET right away - I need to rest one cycle.  I'm usually pretty regular so I'm probably looking at starting meds the end of September.  We also have a telephone WTF consult with the RE in a couple of weeks, not really sure what will be said, but it will be good to touch base.  

Actually, going back to bed is not really an option, I have some reports to write up.  I hate it when life forces you out from under those sheets.

5 comments:

Megan said...

I don't tell anyone about my cycles anymore either. It's hard sometimes because no one knows what you are going through...but it's also easier NOT to tell sometimes. Infertility is lonely.

Joy said...

It's so hard to just act like nothing happened, because something major did happen. I understand that feeling too well. We get it, even if others don't.
((((hugs))))

Mrs. Chop said...

I'm so sorry about your cycle. You're right -- it's hard to imagine a deeper loneliness than infertility because the only ones who understand are fellow infertiles. And we're -- on the whole -- a pretty silent bunch. Thank goodness for the internet.

darkblack said...

I'm sorry to hear of your negative results. I hope your continued courage and perseverance with IVF will pay off for you. I hope that for you and for ourselves. Good luck to everyone.

Evergreen said...

I hope you can pamper yourself a little this next month, and try to not think about IF too much. Your disappointment must be shattering. Hugs to you.